BornEntrepreneur

Entrepreneurship is about leadership, risk, and follow-through—-confidence! Building your confidence is a combination of many different things. Much to the chagrin of the already self-assured people out there, confidence and self-empowerment are not in-born characteristics. It is a skill and a way of life that can most certainly be taught! I learned to become more self-confident and so can you.

Increasing self-worth is not just about what to do and how to think, but just as importantly, what not to do and how not to think. Below are a few behaviors you should work to eliminate in your life in order to build confidence and self-empowerment.

Stop Exposing Yourself to Self-Deprecating Humor

If you are in the beginning stages of building your self-assured mindset, then it is very important not to engage in situations where you make fun of yourself in front of others. Once you reach a certain degree of confidence, it is okay for some self-deprecating humor, but if you are a novice, this humor is one of the easiest ways to make your wall of confidence start to crumble. After all, confidence is a mindset that you create yourself. Does it make sense then, to question your mindset and ridicule yourself in front of others? Most certainly not. This type of humor is used by two people: the extremely confident, and the extremely weak. If you do not consider yourself “extremely confident” then don’t even think about it. You’re just hurting yourself.

Avoid Uncomfortable Situations. Be Prepared.

A smart solider always knows what to expect on the battleground before they move forward. If he/she expects conflict beyond his/her ability to handle, then reinforcements are called. Whether you’re a solider or an individual learning to grow confidence, it’s stupid to jump into situations you can’t handle. You’re just asking to get hit hard by opposition and go through a lengthy process of recovery. This can be applied to so many different scenarios. From approaching people of the opposite sex in a bar, going unprepared to a business networking event, to getting lost on your way somewhere because you didn’t have good directions, these are all instances where it is important to either “call for backup” or simply do your homework.

There’s nothing wrong with going up to someone of the opposite sex and getting turned down. It happens. In instances like this, though, support from your friends is a necessity. Say you’re walking around a bar by yourself and you go up to someone and they shoot you down. You walk away feeling a little bit less of a person. Your confidence is down and you start to doubt your attractiveness and your charm. However, if you go with a bunch of supportive friends, then after you get turned down you have a support group to go to that will reassure that the other person isn’t worth it. They’ll also encourage you to keep trying and not get down. Without these friends, there would have been no reassurance and no encouragement. Supportive friends are great for confidence building—find them and hold on to them.

Getting lost may seem insignificant, but to me it’s a big deal. Self confidence is all self. That means avoid situations where you may end up doubting yourself. Getting lost and subsequently being late is a small confidence killer that can be avoided. Before traveling to a place you’re not familiar you should have backups to ensure you find your way flawlessly. Use Google or Mapquest to print a turn-by-turn map. At the top of the printed map, jot down the phone number of the establishment (if you’re meeting at a restaurant, etc.) so you can call on your cell phone to get directions. It does not look good (and is embarrassing) if you have to call the person you’re meeting to get directions. It’s takes you out of control and automatically puts you down. Don’t fly blind. Always have a plan. But here’s the key, make it look effortless. Make it seem like no big deal. “It was easy to find the place…no problem.” (Even if you had a hard time.) Confidence is as much a perception as it is a reality. When other people perceive you as confident, it starts to rub off on you.

So, remember…

Don’t put yourself down. You are intelligent, funny, and good looking. Don’t ever give anyone a reason to hear otherwise—especially from you. And finally, be prepared. Sometimes it’s as simple as doing an online search so you know what to expect before you jump in. Going to a new restaurant? Read the reviews online so you know what others before you experienced. This will ensure you make confident and smart decisions.

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